A very successful week!

[Scorpio]

I had a bit of a breakthrough. I took the "moose" by the horns and
spoke up. Someone, someone quite subversive, was doing their best to
freeze me out. It was becoming so unbearable, the thought of having
to spend the next few weeks there was just too daunting to imagine. I
hardley slept a wink on Wednesday night. I worried in the car and
even Michael Buble cauldn't lift my spirits.

I arrived. I gathered courage and mentioned my dilemma to another
staff member. She immediately empathised, even touched me on the
arm. She told me she had struck the same problem a few months back.
The relief was so empowering. From that point on my whole psychology
changed. Her daggers no longer penetrated me. She can't touch me
anymore. Who's problem is it? Not mine! Hell no!

The moral of this story? Whereever we go, if our defences are low,
someone with issues may pick up that you're an easy target. If you
show fear and become frightened, they feed off you. In that
situation it is a good idea to decide "who's problem is this?"

M

[Dafydd]

Post by Scorpio
I had a bit of a breakthrough. I took the "moose" by the horns and
spoke up. Someone, someone quite subversive, was doing their best to
freeze me out. It was becoming so unbearable, the thought of having
to spend the next few weeks there was just too daunting to imagine. I
hardley slept a wink on Wednesday night. I worried in the car and
even Michael Buble cauldn't lift my spirits.
I arrived. I gathered courage and mentioned my dilemma to another
staff member. She immediately empathised, even touched me on the
arm. She told me she had struck the same problem a few months back.
The relief was so empowering. From that point on my whole psychology
changed. Her daggers no longer penetrated me. She can't touch me
anymore. Who's problem is it? Not mine! Hell no!
The moral of this story? Whereever we go, if our defences are low,
someone with issues may pick up that you're an easy target. If you
show fear and become frightened, they feed off you. In that
situation it is a good idea to decide "who's problem is this?"
M

I have been having a stand-off with the bosses son
for a couple of weeks...

my workmates get caught in the middle and aren't much help

these days one cannot go round the back of the shed
and sort it out....

its the old sleepless night trick these days...lol....

but that can go both ways....

yes!

good on you M.!

-D.

[Scorpio]

Post by Dafydd

I had a bit of a breakthrough.  I took the "moose" by the horns and
spoke up.  Someone, someone quite subversive, was doing their best to
freeze me out.  It was becoming so unbearable, the thought of having
to spend the next few weeks there was just too daunting to imagine.  I
hardley slept a wink on Wednesday night.  I worried in the car and
even Michael Buble cauldn't lift my spirits.
I arrived.  I gathered courage and mentioned my dilemma to another
staff member.  She immediately empathised, even touched me on the
arm.  She told me she had struck the same problem a few months back.
The relief was so empowering.  From that point on my whole psychology
changed.  Her daggers no longer penetrated me.  She can't touch me
anymore.  Who's problem is it?  Not mine!  Hell no!
The moral of this story?  Whereever we go, if our defences are low,
someone with issues may pick up that you're an easy target.  If you
show fear and become frightened, they feed off you.   In that
situation it is a good idea to decide "who's problem is this?"
M

I have been having a stand-off with the bosses son
for a couple of weeks...
my workmates get caught in the middle and aren't much help
these days one cannot go round the back of the shed
and sort it out....
its the old sleepless night trick these days...lol....
but that can go both ways....
yes!
good on you M.!
-D.- Hide quoted text -
- Show quoted text -

Oh poor you. At least I'm outta there in 3 weeks and won't have to
see that person ever again. I'll tell you about a conversation with a
little boy last week. I'll use pseudo-names for obvious reasons:

Child: I really like my new pre-school, but I'm not happy about Steve
and Kevin.
Me: Wherever we go there's always going to be someone we're not
happy about.

That little boy had no idea that I was referring to very recent
experience.

One magnificant morning in Morrinsville my Mum made me melting
marmalaide...la de da.....and life goes on...

Megan

[Isabellanoir]

Post by Scorpio
I had a bit of a breakthrough. I took the "moose" by the horns and
spoke up. Someone, someone quite subversive, was doing their best to
freeze me out. It was becoming so unbearable, the thought of having
to spend the next few weeks there was just too daunting to imagine. I
hardley slept a wink on Wednesday night. I worried in the car and
even Michael Buble cauldn't lift my spirits.
I arrived. I gathered courage and mentioned my dilemma to another
staff member. She immediately empathised, even touched me on the
arm. She told me she had struck the same problem a few months back.
The relief was so empowering. From that point on my whole psychology
changed. Her daggers no longer penetrated me. She can't touch me
anymore. Who's problem is it? Not mine! Hell no!
The moral of this story? Whereever we go, if our defences are low,
someone with issues may pick up that you're an easy target. If you
show fear and become frightened, they feed off you. In that
situation it is a good idea to decide "who's problem is this?"
M

Congratulations, Meg!

[Notorious*]

Post by Scorpio
I had a bit of a breakthrough. I took the "moose" by the horns and
spoke up. Someone, someone quite subversive, was doing their best to
freeze me out. It was becoming so unbearable, the thought of having
to spend the next few weeks there was just too daunting to imagine. I
hardley slept a wink on Wednesday night. I worried in the car and
even Michael Buble cauldn't lift my spirits.

How come we always end up fighting those people, where ever
we go?

Post by Scorpio
I arrived. I gathered courage and mentioned my dilemma to another
staff member. She immediately empathised, even touched me on the
arm. She told me she had struck the same problem a few months back.
The relief was so empowering. From that point on my whole psychology
changed. Her daggers no longer penetrated me. She can't touch me
anymore. Who's problem is it? Not mine! Hell no!

Definitely not your problem!
We seem to draw them on to us, they feel frustrated and they see someone
to bully. For some reason they think they feel better from it.
But it will only work if we let them get away with it. And let it reduce our
mind. This person tried, but you won!

Post by Scorpio
The moral of this story? Whereever we go, if our defences are low,
someone with issues may pick up that you're an easy target. If you
show fear and become frightened, they feed off you. In that
situation it is a good idea to decide "who's problem is this?"

Wow M! You have just expressed the problem exactly how it is.
If we show weakness, we get attacked! No wonder we learn how to
cover ourselves!

Post by Scorpio
M

Notorious

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum

[Isabellanoir]

Post by Notorious*

Post by Scorpio
I had a bit of a breakthrough. I took the "moose" by the horns and
spoke up. Someone, someone quite subversive, was doing their best to
freeze me out. It was becoming so unbearable, the thought of having
to spend the next few weeks there was just too daunting to imagine. I
hardley slept a wink on Wednesday night. I worried in the car and
even Michael Buble cauldn't lift my spirits.

How come we always end up fighting those people, where ever
we go?

Well worn pathways? This is all to familiar.

Bella

[Dafydd]

Post by Isabellanoir

Post by Notorious*
How come we always end up fighting those people, where ever
we go?

Well worn pathways? This is all to familiar.
Bella

I 'got the gyp' from my SO yesterday evening
and was robbed of a night of sleep.

The same happens at work from
time to time....

I need to be fresh on Monday morn...
to get things up on the right step...

[back off dave- let go....!!!]

-D.

[Scorpio]

Post by Notorious*

I had a bit of a breakthrough.  I took the "moose" by the horns and
spoke up.  Someone, someone quite subversive, was doing their best to
freeze me out.  It was becoming so unbearable, the thought of having
to spend the next few weeks there was just too daunting to imagine.  I
hardley slept a wink on Wednesday night.  I worried in the car and
even Michael Buble cauldn't lift my spirits.

How come we always end up fighting those people, where ever
we go?

Well worn pathways?  This is all to familiar.
Bella

Yes it is. THIS time I did something different. THIS time I decided
to take a risk and share my feelings - not in an agressive way, not in
an attacking way. THIS time I recognised who would be a good ally and
who I could trust. Prior to that I honestly believed I was bad and
she had every reason to treat me that way. It just goes to show how
ingrained our beliefs can get. I am work in progress. Now I'm
further along the time-line.

M

[Scorpio]

Post by Notorious*

I had a bit of a breakthrough.  I took the "moose" by the horns and
spoke up.  Someone, someone quite subversive, was doing their best to
freeze me out.  It was becoming so unbearable, the thought of having
to spend the next few weeks there was just too daunting to imagine.  I
hardley slept a wink on Wednesday night.  I worried in the car and
even Michael Buble cauldn't lift my spirits.

How come we always end up fighting those people, where ever
we go?

I arrived.  I gathered courage and mentioned my dilemma to another
staff member.  She immediately empathised, even touched me on the
arm.  She told me she had struck the same problem a few months back.
The relief was so empowering.  From that point on my whole psychology
changed.  Her daggers no longer penetrated me.  She can't touch me
anymore.  Who's problem is it?  Not mine!  Hell no!

Definitely not your problem!
We seem to draw them on to us, they feel frustrated and they see someone
to bully. For some reason they think they feel better from it.
But it will only work if we let them get away with it. And let it reduce our
mind. This person tried, but you won!

The moral of this story?  Whereever we go, if our defences are low,
someone with issues may pick up that you're an easy target.  If you
show fear and become frightened, they feed off you.   In that
situation it is a good idea to decide "who's problem is this?"

Wow M! You have just expressed the problem exactly how it is.
If we show weakness, we get attacked! No wonder we learn how to
cover ourselves!

M

Notorious
Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum

I wonder if you want to share your toilet trick with David?

[Notorious*]

Post by Scorpio
I wonder if you want to share your toilet trick with David?

Heh! I don't know, people might think I am not always a saint :-)
But, I will explain the same thoughts on a deeper and a little more
serious level.

What use to strike me when a bully tries to put down a smaller guy,
is that don't they think of that the little guy may one day be a big guy?
And this is not only valid about physical size. All of us develop, and
I think the bullied will more than the bully.

In the case you described to us, it is very clear to me this will be a fact.
The bully, so obviously full of frustration from a life that maybe didn't turn
out the way it was meant. Stuck in the same position, year after year.
Grasping after whatever may be a comfort, like deciding it is better to
be a big fish in a small pond than to be a small fish in the sea.
Obsessed with the need to clarify who is in charge, to the point where
every new person is a threat instead of an asset.

And you come along! On one hand you are weaker than the bully, who
has the power (right now). But OTOH you got everything going for you.
You have a stable situation in life, you are studying to fully learn your
profession. And you do have a future!

So, if I were to make a bet, about who of you two will succeed, I'll put my
money on you. Ten years from now, the bully will be an even more miserable
and pathetic person. While there is no limit to how far you could go.
If there is, it is only within your own concept of it.

So that is why I predicted that the day may come, when you decide the bully
is no longer presentable enough to be seen by children. But there is of course
the task to scrub the toilets here! And you know what? I'd really do something
like that to a bully :-)


Notorious

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum

[Dafydd]

Oh thanks.... 4 years ago i have five or six bullies and
some former friends who became hangers on...

its funny how naked power attracts...

the threat is sacking....

my job and career, form out of my industry
and community i grew up in.

but this time i have friends and allies...

actually i want a win-win.... i do want
this guy to succeed...

but if it has to be win-lose...
then i do know it will be me

thanks a lot notorious....

and meg.

-D.

Post by Notorious*

Post by Scorpio
I wonder if you want to share your toilet trick with David?

Heh! I don't know, people might think I am not always a saint :-)
But, I will explain the same thoughts on a deeper and a little more
serious level.
What use to strike me when a bully tries to put down a smaller guy,
is that don't they think of that the little guy may one day be a big guy?
And this is not only valid about physical size. All of us develop, and
I think the bullied will more than the bully.
In the case you described to us, it is very clear to me this will be a fact.
The bully, so obviously full of frustration from a life that maybe didn't turn
out the way it was meant. Stuck in the same position, year after year.
Grasping after whatever may be a comfort, like deciding it is better to
be a big fish in a small pond than to be a small fish in the sea.
Obsessed with the need to clarify who is in charge, to the point where
every new person is a threat instead of an asset.
And you come along! On one hand you are weaker than the bully, who
has the power (right now). But OTOH you got everything going for you.
You have a stable situation in life, you are studying to fully learn your
profession. And you do have a future!
So, if I were to make a bet, about who of you two will succeed, I'll put my
money on you. Ten years from now, the bully will be an even more miserable
and pathetic person. While there is no limit to how far you could go.
If there is, it is only within your own concept of it.
So that is why I predicted that the day may come, when you decide the bully
is no longer presentable enough to be seen by children. But there is of course
the task to scrub the toilets here! And you know what? I'd really do something
like that to a bully :-)
Notorious
Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum

[Dafydd]

Early day.... but a win-win i think.....

nice.....

thanks all for your help,

and you Megan for 'allowing' me to piggy-back
on your issue on your thread...

-D.

Post by Dafydd
Oh thanks.... 4 years ago i have five or six bullies and
some former friends who became hangers on...
its funny how naked power attracts...
the threat is sacking....
my job and career, form out of my industry
and community i grew up in.
but this time i have friends and allies...
actually i want a win-win.... i do want
this guy to succeed...
but if it has to be win-lose...
then i do know it will be me
thanks a lot notorious....
and meg.
-D.

Post by Notorious*

Post by Scorpio
I wonder if you want to share your toilet trick with David?

Heh! I don't know, people might think I am not always a saint :-)
But, I will explain the same thoughts on a deeper and a little more
serious level.
What use to strike me when a bully tries to put down a smaller guy,
is that don't they think of that the little guy may one day be a big guy?
And this is not only valid about physical size. All of us develop, and
I think the bullied will more than the bully.
In the case you described to us, it is very clear to me this will be a fact.
The bully, so obviously full of frustration from a life that maybe didn't turn
out the way it was meant. Stuck in the same position, year after year.
Grasping after whatever may be a comfort, like deciding it is better to
be a big fish in a small pond than to be a small fish in the sea.
Obsessed with the need to clarify who is in charge, to the point where
every new person is a threat instead of an asset.
And you come along! On one hand you are weaker than the bully, who
has the power (right now). But OTOH you got everything going for you.
You have a stable situation in life, you are studying to fully learn your
profession. And you do have a future!
So, if I were to make a bet, about who of you two will succeed, I'll put my
money on you. Ten years from now, the bully will be an even more miserable
and pathetic person. While there is no limit to how far you could go.
If there is, it is only within your own concept of it.
So that is why I predicted that the day may come, when you decide the bully
is no longer presentable enough to be seen by children. But there is of course
the task to scrub the toilets here! And you know what? I'd really do something
like that to a bully :-)
Notorious
Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum

[Scorpio]

Post by Dafydd
Early day.... but a win-win i think.....
nice.....
thanks all for your help,
and you Megan for 'allowing' me to piggy-back
on your issue on your thread...
-D.

Post by Dafydd
Oh thanks.... 4 years ago i have five or six bullies and
some former friends who became hangers on...
its funny how naked power attracts...
the threat is sacking....
my job and career, form out of my industry
and community i grew up in.
but this time i have friends and allies...
actually i want a win-win.... i do want
this guy to succeed...
but if it has to be win-lose...
then i do know it will be me
thanks a lot notorious....
and meg.
-D.

Post by Notorious*

Post by Scorpio
I wonder if you want to share your toilet trick with David?

Heh! I don't know, people might think I am not always a saint :-)
But, I will explain the same thoughts on a deeper and a little more
serious level.
What use to strike me when a bully tries to put down a smaller guy,
is that don't they think of that the little guy may one day be a big guy?
And this is not only valid about physical size. All of us develop, and
I think the bullied will more than the bully.
In the case you described to us, it is very clear to me this will be a fact.
The bully, so obviously full of frustration from a life that maybe didn't turn
out the way it was meant. Stuck in the same position, year after year.
Grasping after whatever may be a comfort, like deciding it is better to
be a big fish in a small pond than to be a small fish in the sea.
Obsessed with the need to clarify who is in charge, to the point where
every new person is a threat instead of an asset.
And you come along! On one hand you are weaker than the bully, who
has the power (right now). But OTOH you got everything going for you.
You have a stable situation in life, you are studying to fully learn your
profession. And you do have a future!
So, if I were to make a bet, about who of you two will succeed, I'll put my
money on you. Ten years from now, the bully will be an even more miserable
and pathetic person. While there is no limit to how far you could go.
If there is, it is only within your own concept of it.
So that is why I predicted that the day may come, when you decide the bully
is no longer presentable enough to be seen by children. But there is of course
the task to scrub the toilets here! And you know what? I'd really do something
like that to a bully :-)
Notorious
Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -

No worries mate. Keep smiling.

[Notorious*]

Post by Dafydd
Early day.... but a win-win i think.....
nice.....
thanks all for your help,
and you Megan for 'allowing' me to piggy-back
on your issue on your thread...
-D.

I am glad you feel it was a good day.
Not really meaning to start a philosophical discussion :-)
But, there are no win-lose situations. There are only win-win or lose-lose.
It has taken me al long time to understand that, and I am not sure old dogs
ever learn. So maybe I should not try to brag :-)

But I think you see it that way too. So, don't let shallow people discourage
you, because you are right!


Notorious

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum